Why is sales so difficult when you care?

Recently I was reflecting about some of the things I observe in the clients I work with and what their biggest problems are when it comes to enrolling new clients, and it got me thinking…..

Why is selling so darned hard for heart-centred business owners?

After all, if we really care about our clients and want the best for them then, of course, we DO want them to make that decision to work with us and get our help.

If we really care why would we hold back on a clear invitation to find out more?  Or a confident recommendation that they sign up for our service?

But the very fact that we DO care so much makes sales so much more difficult than it would be if we only cared about, say, the money, or hitting an arbitrary sales target.

Which means that for a heart-centred business owner sales becomes about so much more than just learning a structure or process.

You could even argue it’s not actually about the “how to” of sales at all.

If it was as easy as learning a process I wouldn’t even have a business!   You would have all gone off and got yourself some good old traditional sales training a long time ago and be off merrily “closing sales”, “handling objections” and filling up your diaries – you wouldn’t even be reading this.

But for a heart-centred business owner, it’s SO not about the process – it’s about all the other “stuff”.

Stuff like:

• Caring deeply about others and feeling drawn to want to help them – because you care, not because you’re about to take money off them
• Fear of coming across as pushy because you only want what’s best for people and you’d be mortified if anyone thought you were trying to push them into anything because it suited your own bank balance
• Fear of rejection.  You’re so sensitive you don’t know how you’d handle it if the client says no, or whether your confidence would bounce back from it, so it feels safer not to even ask
• Being naturally introverted so that even just getting a conversation started with someone you don’t know feels difficult – never mind being the one who is supposed to lead it!
• Wanting to keep things flowing and organic in your business so that it feels true to you and authentic – and then feeling confused and frustrated when you don’t end up with enough clients!
• Not valuing your work enough to charge appropriate prices or have confident conversations with people about working with you.

And I could go on …. there’s plenty more!

So it’s really no wonder that sales is so difficult when you care about others.

But allowing all of this to get in the way means that you are not making a difference to as many people as you could.

This isn’t good for your business, and it’s definitely not good for your clients.

So for a heart-centred business owner, a big part of the process of getting good at supporting your client and helping them to make the best decision for them is actually as much about working on your own “stuff” around sales and money (yes, that’s a technical term) as it is about learning structures and processes.

So what can we do about this “sales stuff”?

Well in my experience we move through and shift some of these blocks, feelings and beliefs in different ways.

It can happen instantly with just a realisation…

I remember the day, back in my corporate sales role, when I was still new to making “cold calls” and very nervous (my previous job had been inbound sales which meant the customer called us). I used a  post-it note to keep track of my calls.  For every call where I got through to someone, I marked a line – even if they hung up on me or swore at me.   After a few hours, I realised that I never got to 10 lines without getting through to someone who would engage in conversation, agree to have a meeting, or actually buy from me.  At that moment I gained a different understanding of rejection – each “no” was bringing me one step closer to a “yes” and I stopped being so afraid of it.

It can “drop in” when we’re not expecting it 

I remember being on a VIP Strategy day with a client a number years ago when my fees were a lot lower than they are today.  Partway through the day it suddenly struck me “My gosh, she’s going to walk right out that door at the end of today and go and grow a 6 figure business based on what I’ve given her.   I’m not charging enough”.  I suddenly felt embarrassed at how much I was sharing in relation to what I was charging and the value she was getting.  I also felt I wasn’t being a good role model with my pricing.  That day I doubled my prices for 121 work.  I wasn’t actively “working” on my pricing.  It just happened.

Sometimes it’s a longer process – an ongoing journey

I’m a natural introvert and so there is always a huge resistance for me to anything that in any way involves “putting myself out there” and drawing attention to myself (not the greatest quality for business, uh?).  Writing and teaching are definitely the most comfortable way for me to reach new people.

Yet with all that said I do put out regular content and videos (though I also do a lot of repurposing existing content nowadays),  I give talks and interviews, I run webinars and hold live events.  The discomfort isn’t something I “worked on” and broke through in order to run my business.  Instead, I accept a certain level of discomfort as part of my journey and I do what I need to do despite it.  After all, I wouldn’t be able to reach and help many people if I gave in to it– and where would be the fulfilment in that?

Sometimes we do the inner work

And every now and then, if something is holding me back too much I’ll get help.  If I’m experiencing pain rather than discomfort, paralysis rather than procrastination and it’s actually stopping me from moving forward, I’ll invest time and money in working with an expert to help me shift those inner gremlins and unconscious blocks.  And I’ve done this many many times since I started my business.

So before I finish for today I’d love you to take a moment to look back through that list at the top of the page and identify:

What is the one thing that’s holding you back the most when it comes to you serving and helping more people through to having authentic sales conversations?

What one thing can you do today to start to shift it?  This could be:

• Record and send out that video you’ve been thinking about making… (despite the discomfort)
• Reach out to follow up with a potential client to give them a gentle nudge to go ahead and work with you – and do it because you care
• Connect more deeply with the value you offer by writing up a list of the 10 ways that someone’s life could change for the better as a result of working with you
• Make that appointment to start working on some of your inner blocks to sales and business
• Learn a structure so that you can start to feel a greater sense of control around your sales conversations.  You can get started with my free video training “The 7 Steps to Yes!”

If you’d like a deeper exploration into how to feel more congruent and comfortable about sales, as well as an introduction to my heart-centred sales process, join me tomorrow for:

Heart-Centred Sales Masterclass:
Wednesday 24th June, 1.00pm UK

Get more clients saying “Yes Please!”– without being pushy, manipulative or compromising your integrity

If you know that feeling awkward or uncomfortable about sales, or not having a clear structure to your sales process, is actually getting in the way of you enrolling paying clients – then this is for you.
It will also be useful if you are comfortable with sales but don’t get enough people into your sales conversations in the first place:    Click here to register