How to set Boundaries in your Business
Recently I released a video that was very popular, on How I run a Business with Chronic Health Issues.
A friend and client who knows me well pointed out that I’d missed out a really key point from that video – Boundaries! And she was right – in fact, it’s such an important one that it merits a video of it’s own.
I’m particularly good at setting and sticking to boundaries in my business, because this is so essential to protect my time and energy so that I have more of both of those things available to do the work that really matters. And so in this video I am talking about:
- 3 types of boundaries you need to set in your business
- The main reason people are not respecting your boundaries
- 4 steps to setting clear boundaries
- How to gently enforce your boundaries when a client breaks them
Watch the video below or scroll down to read the blog:
Why we need boundaries in business:
Boundaries in our business and our lives is important for everyone, and because I have issues with my health, protecting my energy is just as important as protecting my time and so my boundaries are designed to protect both of them.
I see a lot of my clients struggle with their boundaries. Demands from friends and family members which means they don’t get enough focus time to make progress on key projects and create the vision they are working towards.
This might be responding to messages and emails from clients at all hours and giving a lot more than was initially agreed, and even worse, helping people for free when they should be paying you.
Why boundaries can feel difficult in a heart-centred business
This is especially a struggle in a heart-centred business because if you are anything like me you want to help everyone.
But you only have so much capacity, and if you don’t take care of these precious resources – your time, your energy and your attention, you won’t have enough of it left for the things and people that matter most: your own self-care, your family and loved ones, and the clients who are paying you.
I deeply care about every business owner being successful, it’s in my DNA to want to help everyone
But if tried to help everyone with no boundaries then I would be burned out and have no quality of life.
There are 3 sorts of boundaries I recommend you put in place to support your success in business:
- Boundaries with yourself
- Boundaries with friends and family members
- Boundaries with clients
However, before we get into all that I want to talk about:
The Invisible Fence
I see this very often with my clients where it feels like people are taking advantage – family members calling for favours at short notice, or clients needing help out of hours or extra to the agreements. But most of the time the client or family member is not even aware they are breaking a boundary because they didn’t even know it was there:
To illustrate this:
Outside my house there is a garden that goes from the front of the house to the pavement. Some of my neighbours have put up small walls or hedges, but mine is still in the original design so there is no boundary, the grass actually meets the pavement where people walk past. Now imagine I came home one summer’s day and I found a family having a picnic on the grass outside my house, kids playing football, mum & dad kicking back in their deckchairs sipping a cool drink, and I said “get off my grass it’s my private grass”. Well, they could easily argue that they thought it was OK – after all there was no fence or other boundary to mark the fact that this was private and I didn’t want them there.
This is exactly what your boundaries might be like. You might think they exist, but if your clients and family members don’t know about them, how can they respect them?
I find that I very rarely have a problem with a client breaking my boundaries – because I communicate them clearly up front.
With that in mind, here is how you set Boundaries in your Business
- Decide your Boundaries
- Make people boundaries
- Enforce your boundaries
- Decide who can break your boundaries and in what circumstances.
Lets look at those 3 types of boundaries:
1. Boundaries with Yourself
These are to protect your own energy and help you take care of yourself.
These might be having set start and finish times for your work. I have always had a fixed time beyond which I don’t work past, other than if I’m doing a live evening session as part of a course or membership.
I also have a rule I that I don’t do work on Sunday.
It might be specific times, or even specific days, when you check your emails, respond to social media, and messages.
It might be how long you spend responding to emails and messages each day, rather feeling you have to respond to everything, because that can be impossible. You can even set a boundary on which channels you check and respond to.
I set a time limit on how long I spend in my membership Facebook group each day.
I also have a rule of no household chores during the working day even though I work from home – this helps me with focus time and productivity
It’s so important you stay within these boundaries to protect yourself from burnout or health issues and – very importantly – ensure you stay in love with your business
2. Boundaries with friends & family members
Of course you do have to be pragmatic when it comes to boundaries with family members – you have to be available for small children, or if the school calls in the middle of the day. And some times there is give and take with friends who give you a lot of support in return. But sometimes you just need to set boundaries and make them clear.
For example, when I first started my business my mum would phone me up for a chat in the middle of the day, and then so did my friends, and in the end I felt I wasn’t moving forward with the business at all.
One day I said to my mum “if I was still working in my corporate job would you be phoning me now?” – se answered “well no, because you’d be at work”. Exactly I said. I’m at work now, I’m starting a business.
This marked the beginning of me “training” friends and family that I was working during they day – if they left a message or tried to reach me during the day, I would respond after I’d finished work. Of course, I’m still available in an emergency, but generally I avoid having long social chats during my working time.
3. Boundaries with clients
I’ve noticed found in most examples where clients are not respecting boundaries, the business owner has never actually clearly communicated them, they just expect the client to somehow “know” – back to the Invisible Fence theory.
Most of the time it’s not that your clients want to take advantage of you, it’s just that different people have different ideas of what is acceptable. And if your client is struggling emotionally and this is something you help them with, they will tend to lean in to your support as much as you are available to give it. So it’s you who is responsible for the boundaries, not them.
Setting your boundaries includes things like:
- What days and times you are available to respond to questions or messages
- What types of things you help them with as part of your work and what you don’t
- When and how they can get in touch
- What channels they can reach you on.
- When you will respond and how quickly you are likely to respond
Some examples from my business include that I use email only for client communication, apart from private clients who can message me via WhatsApp, but even that also has boundaries around how often they can message me, and how quickly I will respond.
Within my membership I answer questions via live calls and in the FB group, not privately. If someone emails to request advice privately we ask them to post it in the group.
With private clients my client day is Thursday so if I’m reviewing copy or sales page for them outside of the calls that’s when I’ll do it.
Communicating your Boundaries
I tend to have client guidelines that are separate to terms and conditions that outline key boundaries. Within my membership this is done via a Welcome Pack and a welcome area in our membership.
In my business these are separate to my t’s and c’s or contract as they are not a legal document or legally binding. They are just outlining guidelines for the way I work – i.e. my boundaries – which helps set those expectations with my clients up front.
On the whole this works very well for me and it is very rare that I have clients who overstep these boundaries.
How to Enforce your boundaries
I notice that a lot of people struggle to enforce their boundaries. The problem with this is that the more you agree to do that extra thing outside the agreement, and the more you go over time on your calls, the more the client will learn that is completely OK, even normal as part of the way you work.
Equally the more you enforce the boundaries, the more your clients will respect them.
But I do know that it can be difficult to enforce these boundaries – after all you don’t want to leave your client feeling that you don’t care about them.
I certainly don’t ever want a client to feel bad, and also I value my clients and I want them to feel cared about. So if a client breaks a boundary the first time I normally let them, but as I do that I remind them of the boundary.
An example would be a client emailing me to ask for a review of their sales page when copy review isn’t part of the programme they’ve purchased. In this case I would send some quick high-level feedback so that I’m still helping them in some way, and also gently remind them that copy review isn’t included in their programme, but I’d be happy to do it and deduct it from their remaining mentoring hours, or offer them to buy some extra time.
What about when it’s a family member?
A very useful piece of advice when it comes to boundaries with friends and family members is this: “No” is a complete sentence! So is “No, I’m working right now”.
A few years ago I moved to live near my family, and a couple of times my sister arrived unannounced with my niece straight from school “can you look after her for a while while I do xyz?”. I could see where this was headed so I started saying “no, sorry I’m working now… but I could do it on xx day if you give me some notice”. She quickly learned that if she wanted me to babysit she needed to arrange it with me in advance and at a time that worked for me.
And if people are already in the habit of taking advantage of you, you can absolutely enforce a new boundary.
You can say: “I’m working on an important project in my business for the next few months so I won’t be able to help you at short notice any more – please can you make alternative arrangements”
Most people are good people who don’t consciously want to take advantage or make things more difficult for you, but if you are making their life easier then of course they will make the most of that – who wouldn’t!
I hope you’ve found this helpful and you can already see ways you can tighten up on your own boundaries to support your business success – do let me know in the comments, I always love to hear from you!
Create a Business you Can Fall in Love with Guide:
Setting clear boundaries is all part of creating a business you can stay in love with for the long term because you are not burning out trying to keep up with everything. Learn about the key foundations for a sustainable business in my free guide: Create a Business you can Fall in Love with
Sign up for the guide here
